"Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.
And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk."
Can I be completely honest and transparent? It has been SO hard for me to become disciplined into having quiet times with my Jesus. I know how important they are, and how much people grow during their quiet times, but it's just been so hard for me to set time aside to do it. In such a busy-minded society, we try so hard to fit our precious quiet times with Jesus into our schedules instead of making our schedules around our priceless quiet times with Him. I know I know I know how important it is, but I think until I had experienced that awesome closeness with God that could only happen during a quiet time, I didn't know what I was missing. I love Jesus with all my heart, and I believe I live a life that reflects that in public; however, my private time told a different story. Not that I did bad stuff in my private time, but I was missing such a vital part of my walk with the Lord. It was/is very easy for me to explain to people how important those times alone with God are, yet not be doing it myself- knowing that I am missing something.
My soul is crying out; my life has had this unexplainable longing for something and I know what it is. I know I have a calling on my life, and I am so so excited to see that play out. However, I am making my own road block in going forward with my calling by not digging into the Word and getting to know Jesus better, one-on-one. I think He wants to 'get to know me better' as well. ;)
So, I have started. The Lord has laid some things on my heart to fast for a month; things that very much got in the way of me spending time with Him. I've been digging into the Word and reading more in the past 2 weeks than I have my entire life in the Bible. I started off with the book of Esther (this book is like a story- so interesting!!!), then moved on to Philippians because our pastor is in the middle of a series on JOY and we are going through the entire book. I never realized that the whole book of Philippians is about joy; not just Paul writing telling you about it, he is living it! Although he is in jail for speaking the gospel AND chained to a guard, he still was joyful! He was happy, and it showed to others, very loudly. I WANT TO BE LIKE PAUL!
Well, I got through Philippians really quick, and decided to keep going in order. So, on to Colossians, which I got today's verse from. Another letter from Paul while he is still in jail; another amazing book. I just finished 1 Thessalonians and I'm getting ready to start 2 Thessalonians. I'm so excited to keep going. God has truly revealed Himself more and more to me as I allowed Him in in reading His Word; I begin each day of my quiet time in anticipation!
This verse, that I quoted at the beginning of my blog, really stuck out to me as I was reading Colossians last night. "Your old life is dead. Your new life....is with Christ in God. HE IS YOUR LIFE." V3-4 The problem has been for so long that I was not allowing Christ to be my entire life; I was only allowing Him to be parts of my life. I think I knew that, but I wouldn't admit it and accept it. As I have had the incredible opportunity to lead the senior high youth at WMF and to speak at The Pink Lid, I began to realize that as much as I am wanting to give these awesome teenagers, I am only going to be able to give them so much. I can only give what I have to give, and if I was not full of the Lord and His grace and mercy and truth and forgiveness, then how would I be able to fully minister that to anyone? I am yearning to live as I preach: every single day.
"It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk." V7-8 I have no excuse. I am a daughter of the King; a child of God; a Christian; follower of Christ. I know better; so why keep making the same decisions? That is ignorance and immaturity in your faith. I don't want to be ignorant of the Lord and immature in my faith. I want to grow; I want people to be able to look up to me; I want to be able to share everything that the Lord has done in me, is doing in me, and is going to do in me with everyone I come into contact with! I want to be a precious child in His eyes, that He is CLOSE to. I want to know God better than I know myself. I long to be THAT close to Him.
Thank you, Jesus, for opening my eyes to see my downfalls. Thank you for loving me, a repetitive sinner, no matter what, and for never labeling me. You love me in spite of my flaws, and I ask that you continue to help me in my discipline for my quiet times. Days will get busier, I will grow weary and things will come up, but when that happens please bring to my mind how I feel when I have my quiet times with you, and what I am missing when I don't. I love you so much, Jesus. Thank you for who you are.
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